A Series of Stupid Events
by The Grey Hollowed Courier
Summary: Three irresponsible teens are given stupid amounts of power and are sent to the Naruto world by a reluctant goddess in need of help. The following is a poorly written written documentation of the following dumpster fire, enjoy! Rated M because I'm paranoid and swear like a drunk sailor that just stubbed his pinkie toe on a coffee table leg.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One; Crash landing

 **A/N; I'll try to keep this short, I don't own Naruto. Head's up, lots of swearing and use of racial slurs. If you're offended, well that's your problem for letting a piece of poorly written fanfiction control your emotions.**

* * *

 **"Hey, you guys hear that?" A brown haired teen said as he and his friends walked down a road, his epic sideburns leading down to his neck beard.**

The three stopped for a moment. The one on the shortest one having been the one to ask the question. The one next to him was half a head taller and possessed a bushy head of bright brown curly hair, his cheeks covered with the fuzz of a young beard. The tallest of the group had dark brown hair and several days' worth of unshaven hair on his face, he stood next to the middle heighted one.

 **"It'll be fine." The middle teen said dismissively, the other two shrugged and the three continued their journey.**

It wasn't until the blaring horn of a truck and the shriek of metal on stone was at its loudest did the three turn around.

 **"On second thought, I think I was wrong."**

* * *

 **"Wake up." A soft motherly voice called out, stirring the light haired boy from his sleep, his brown eyes opening up blearily as he looked around the abyss he floated in.**

 **"Where the fu…" His voice trailed off as he noticed the towering women before him, her cloak and immense amount of hair billowing around her as she radiated an otherworldly light and an aura that demanded respect.**

 **"Yo." The teen said lamely.**

The women's lips turned downward as she let out a tired sigh, "Is this the best I could get." She mumbled looking upwards.

 **"Young child," The women said gently turning back to the teen, "I am in need of help and have chosen you as the one to assist me."**

 **"...What?" The teen asked after a moment of silence. Again the woman sighed, "Kami, why him? Why?" She turned around asked into the void.**

After a few deep breaths she turned back to the teen. "I am Kaguya Otsutsuki, Rabbit goddess, and I am in need of your help." The teen stared at her for a moment, then a lightbulb seemed to go off in his head, "You're the chick that Naruto and Sasuke fight at the end of the series!" He declared. "Aren't you supposed to be, like final boss or something?"

The women face turned sour, "I... was not at my best." She mumbled. "I have suffered much, and I only wish to finally be free of this prison."

 **"Oh, how can I help ya?" The teen asked.**

 **"I need you to be the one that breaks me from my prison." She said, floating closer to the teen, "To do that I will pull your soul to the elemental nations ten years before Black Zetsu intends to free me, and give you access to my power."**

 **"Can I get two of my friends to help me, they know the series better than me." The teen asked. Kaguya frowned, "Focus on them and I'll try." She said as she placed her hand on his head.**

A moment later the taller and shorter teenagers faded into existence, their eyes closed. Kaguya retracted her hand, the limb shaking slightly. The first of the two to open his eyes was the tallest of the three, and he immediately proceeded to flip his shit.

 **"Be gone Satan!" The teen shouted, taping a cross across his shoulders and head. His shouting woke up the last teen, who blearily looked around the room.**

 **"The hell am I?" He asked looking around, his eyes landing on a very confused giant women, an even more confused teen he recognized as his friend, and then the brother of said friend dressed up like a mega-pope waving around golden metal cross and reciting passages from an enormous book.**

 **"The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories that it has come to be disbelieved in. Few people dare now to say that two beings have fallen in love- wait this is Les Miserable." The teen suddenly realized as he looked at the cover of the book he was reading from.**

 **"Ahem." All three teens looked to the goddess before them, she snapped her fingers and the tallest teens mouth was forcibly closed.**

 **"Now that that's out of the way," She turned back to the teen that had been there the longest, "These are the two you have chosen to accompany you?" the teen nodded in response. "Then I shall give them power as well."**

 **"I can't guarantee where each of you will land, but I can guarantee that you will survive it. Before I send you off I would like for each of you to choose new names for yourselves."**

The one to speak first was the tallest teen, his mouth now unbound. "I choose Alim to be my new name." He said with a serious tone.

The next to speak was Kaguya's chosen. "I choose the name Corrin." He said in a joyful tone.

 **"I'll be Black Yoshi." The shortest spoke, straight faced. The other two giving him a confused look. "What?" He asked.**

 **"Nothing…" The other two quickly said.**

 **"Now with that settled, work swiftly my chosen." Kaguya said as she spread her arms, her hair floating in the air as the void they stood in filled with her power. Her third eye opened and seemed to bulge almost out of its socket.**

A moment later the three teens were gone, and Kaguya let loose a sigh.

 **"...I probably should have told them how to use their powers." She mumbled to herself, she snapped her fingers and three books appeared around her. Another snap later and they were gone.**

* * *

Night had spread over the elemental Nations, the full moon at its peak illuminated the lands in its white light. For a moment, one could see the faint outline of a rippling pattern on the moon, nine tomoe spaced throughout the pattern.

As the lines faded two objects plummeted in different directions, one landing in the deserts of Wind country, the other landing deep within a malevolent forest in Fire country.

Deep underground stood a humanoid statue, its ten eye's closed as it seemed to scream in pain. A small trail of water flowed from the eyes, much to the confusion of the ones who sought to control it.

* * *

 ** _Training ground forty-four. One of the most dangerous places in the entirety of the hidden leaf village, if not the entirety of fire country. With the excessive amounts of cannibalistic and poisonous plants along with the colossus predators whose instance have been sharpened to the maximum by natural selection._**

Only those who are those who are truly monstrous would be able to willingly frequent the malevolent forest.

 **"Hello?" Corrin shouted into the towering woods, making quite a ruckus as he moved in a random direction.**

 ** _And only the foolish would get lost within the woods._**

 **"I feel like I was just insulted by a higher power." Corrin mumbled as he scratched at the grid patterned scarf wrapped over his eyes. His loose black Hamanaka pants blew in the breeze as he fidgeted with short white Yukata. A pair of smooth horns stood from his head of spiky pink hair.**

 **"Now where's the exit?" The teen asked himself. A black slime oozed from his sleeve, a fanged smile and pair of glowing purple eyes stared at the teen.**

 **"Hell if I know, I'm still pissed that the bitch did this to me."A deep voice echoed from the blob as its mouth formed an almost comical frown.**

 **"Well that's what you get for calling a goddess a demon and trying to exorcise her." Corrin told his brother, who grunted in response.**

 **"If my memory is correct there's a river somewhere in here, Find it and we can get out of here."Corrin nodded at the logic, "The only problem is finding the river," He thought out loud.**

 **"Wonder how Black's doing." Corrin wondered.**

* * *

 ** _The deserts of wind country, known for the blistering heats for the daylight hours, and the blood freezing cold during the night hours. To be lost here would be a death sent-  
_** **  
"Hey where my nigga's at." An extremely pale boy said, his long white hair flowing in the desert breeze as he looked around the barren ocean of sand, His eyes covered by a pair of barred goggles that hid them from view. "Ah shit." He groaned to the sky as he started to trudge his way across the windy dunes. His White kimono seemed to glow in the pale moonlight.**

 ** _-ence… Never mind._**

* * *

 **"This place doesn't seem so bad." Corrin said cheerfully as he jumped through the woods, A monstrously sized bear crashing through the tree's mere feet behind him.**

 **"I told you it would be a bad idea to just go poking around in random caves."**

"Well excuse me for wanting to wait till day to try and get out of this hell!" Corrin grumbled under his breath, "Did Kaguya ever tell us how to use her power anyways?"

Before Alim could respond, a leather bound book smacked into Corrin's face mid-jump, causing him to tumble to the ground, and allow the angry grizzly bear to leap over his head into a very carnivorous plant, which proceeded to rip it apart.

 **"Uhh, I hate reading." Corrin complained as he looked at the book. "Divine power for dummies," Corrin read the title aloud. Shrugging, the teen cracked open the book, leaned against a conveniently place log, and started reading.**

* * *

In Wind country, a pale teen read a book of the same title as he stumbled through the cold dunes of the desert.

Little did the citizens of the Elemental nations know just how much chaos would be introduced with these three new variables now roaming unchecked.

And it total wasn't contrived in any way.

* * *

 **A/N; Whelp to those who have followed me, this is my new attempt at what was formerly known as 'Two Idiots.' After some consideration I decided to change some things, and I like the new ideas that I have. Some stories that inspired this story would be "Yet again with a little extra help" By Third Fang and "The Oracle" By Bulba Fett, go read the fuck out of them, their good. Much better than this.**

 **Shout out to my friend who proof read this, Microsoft Word and Google docs for spell check. I'd be dead with out it.  
By the time I post this I should be several chapters into the story and hopefully won't drop it like anything else I've posted. I have a small problem with commitment if you couldn't tell. If you have any criticism I would love to hear them, and if you choose to insult me, please be creative in it.**

Have a good whatever to ya.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two; Chase sequence and Hook ups of the ludicrous kind**

 **A/N; I don't own nothin'. If you think I do, you obviously haven't seen my cardboard mansion.  
Warning, if you have any type of opinion you might be offended by something in here eventually. I'm not talking just for this chapter, I mean for this story in general… Have fun.**

* * *

 ****"Wee!" Corrin shouted as he jumped out of the forest, clearing the fence and landing in front of a small shack currently housing a rather confused kunoichi.

"I'm so glad to be out of that suffocating forest." Corrin mumbled as he stretched his limbs, earning popping from his joints, and ripping sounds from his already torn clothes. "Now where do I go-" He was cut off by a snake pinning his arms to his waist, "Dammit, I hate bondage, this is not my kink!" He shouted to no-one in particular as he jumped from one foot to another.  
 **  
**" **Dude, it's a snake."** Alim said, slithering up next to his pink haired brother's ear. " **And it's coming from the chick behind you.** "

"Who the hell are you?" A gruff female voice rang from behind the teen, the snake around him tightening in response.

"Um… someone important." He quickly said, standing up straight to hopefully reinforce his point. The women stared at him, an eyebrow raised as she stepped towards him.

"No really, what were you doing in training ground forty-four, and who are you." She stopped just a bit out Corrin's former arms reach.

"The names Corrin, Nice ta meet ya!" The teen chimed, sticking his hand out as best he could to offer a handshake, in response to his movement though, the snake tightened causing his ribs to groan in protest under the pressure. ****

"The names Anko, now why were you in one of the most dangerous training grounds?" The woman introduced herself, "Now why don't you answer my question, I won't ask a third time." She said with a malicious smile, causing her snake to hiss in delight.

"Would you accept that I got lost?" Corrin asked, clapping his hands together and pointing them at the special Jounin. She openly laughed at the response.

"Wait you're serious?" She asked after a moment, "You know that most Chunin won't even go in that place right?" Corrin shrugged.

"Well I did, could you let me go?" The pinkette asked.

"No." Anko said simply, "I think it's awfully suspicious that some punk-ass kid could survive any more than ten minutes in that place." ****

"Okay first off, I was in there a month. Second off, I'm sixteen. Third off, fuck you." Corrin said placing his hand on the snake causing it burst into a cloud of smoke. "And fourth off, I'm not just any punk-ass kid!" Corrin shouted as he leapt backwards. "I 'ma ninja!"

"Striking shadow!" Corrin shouted launching his arm forward, Alim rocketing out of sleeve in the form of a hand.

'Wrmp Wrmp' everything went silent as Corrin froze, a look of horror on his face. Anko trembled in rage as the black blob on her chest gave another squeeze.

"You have a five second head start, and it started three seconds ago." She said in a deathly calm voice.

"Eep!" Corrin squealed as he pulled back Alim, turning and running like a man with hell at his heels, for something much worse was soon approaching.

 **_**

"What the hell were you thinking?" Corrin asked Alim as the two blitzed through the village hidden in the leaves, a furious Anko on their heels, chucking various sharp and pointy tools of death. ****

" **Hey I think Anko got some help."** The shadow chimed. "What!" Corrin shouted turning around to see not only a furious Anko, but an equally angry Kurenai wearing a chunin jacket.  
 **  
**"Fuuuuuuuuuuu- Is that Guy -uuuuuuuuuuuck!" Corrin shouted/ asked as he spotted the green spandex clad ninja running along the road.

"Yes Guy, I think it's a bad idea." A silver haired ninja walking beside Maito Guy said, "How would you even get weighted clothes, or think about if you need to remove them, what would you do then?"

The green clad jounin opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted by a teen leaping over him, quickly followed by two angry kunoichi. "Huh, wonder what they're doing?" Kakashi mused aloud, seemingly oblivious to Guy shaking with his head held low in. "Such… Such…" He muttered under his breath.

"Such a fiery display of youth, I feel it igniting a passionate flame within my soul!" He shouted to the heavens, tears streaming from his eyes at an inhuman rate. "Come my eternal rival, we must join them and fan our flames of youth!" The bowl headed man shouted, grabbing his companion's arm and leaping after the group, quickly approaching them.

" **Great there's more of them."** Alim grumbled as he turned to watch the growing mob.

"Wonder how Yoshi's doing?" Corrin mused as he leapt to the building tops in hopes of evading the justified wrath of an angry woman. ****

 **_**

Elsewhere

"I'm trying to get to the Hidden Leaf Village, Do you know the way there?" Black Yoshi asked slowly to the elderly hermit woman, who lived in a hollowed out tree deep within a forest.

"...What?!" She shouted after a moment. Black took a deep breath and repeated his question for the seventeenth time, hoping that the old hag finally heard him. He was really tired of walking around the humid forest.

"...What?!..." She cried out in response.

"Mother Fucker!" Black shouted in rage to the heavens.

"Watch your language!" The Hag shouted as she brought an old broom down on the teen's glorious hair.

"Oh come on!" ****

" **He's probably doing fine."** Alim grumbled. " **Unlike us if you don't hurry up!** "  
"Fair point." Corrin agreed as he ducked under a kunia. "How long have we been running?"  
 **  
**" **About three hours."** Alim mumbled. Corrin grunted as he looked up at the sun, watching as it slowly waned across the sky, "Huh, appears so."

"Look out!" A childish voice rang out as a yellow blur barreled into Corrins stomach, knocking him to the floor.

"Ow." The pinkette said as he laid spread eagle on the ground. "Hey, watch where you're going!" The boy who crashed into Corrin said as he rubbed his head, messing up his already messy spiky blond hair. Corrin slowly sat up as he stared at the whiskered faced boy, his crystal blue eyes widened as he heard a shout from behind him.

"Shit!" The boy grumbled as chunin shouted at him from down the road, about that time Anko let loose a furious roar, causing Corrin to shiver in fear.

"We must flee!" Corrin shouted scooping up the blond boy and started to sprint like a man with the Shinigami himself at his heels.

"What are you running from?" Naruto asked as Corrin placed him on his shoulders, "Something far worse than death, and something that would make the devil himself tremble in fear… An angry woman." Corrin said, as if he just had the fear of god instilled deep within his soul.

"Oh come on, that doesn't seem that ba-" Naruto started to say, but was cut off by a rage filled roar dripping with blood lust. Both males turned towards the source and saw Anko, mere meters away, radiating a malevolent aura that caused any plant life that she passed to wilt and die.

"Run!" Naruto squeaked out in fear as he pulled his mounts hair as if to steer him.

"On it!" Corrin shouted, pushing chakra into his legs, propelling himself forward at blitzing speeds.

 **_**

One week later

Corrin still raced around the village, having long since been rid of Anko and leaving Naruto in the elderly Hokage's office for the old man to care for several hours after the initial chase began. It's completely irrelevant that the man had been having a private meeting with his personal council, the room safe guarded with several layers of protective fuinjutsu and even a few genjutsu.

 ****Though Corrins completely irrelevant actions may not be so irrelevant considering he now has several chunin on his tail.  
 **  
**"My," Corrin leaped over a particularly wide gap between two buildings, "Legs," Corrin leapt down into a cramped alleyway when two chunin appeared on the in front of him, "Hurt!" He finished as he blitzed through a brothel, leaping through the window of a room in use.  
 **  
**"Is that Yoshi?" Corrin asked as he saw the white haired teen running across the roofs above them, "Dude!" Corrin shouted, jumping up beside the shorter teen, "How ya doing?"  
 **  
**"Ya know, same ole' same ole'." Black shrugged. Alim picked out of Corrins collar, " **What took you so long to get here?"** He demanded.  
 **  
**"Well excuse me for being dropped in the middle of a desert, and having to WALK all the way here!" The albino teen shouted, "Hey, what are you guys running from?" Black asked.

"Some chunin, they weren't very happy when I broke into the Hokage's office. What are you running from?" The pinkette asked. ****

"The Anbu black ops, I think." He said turning to look behind himself, "I might have broken into the village."

"Same." Corrin nodded.

"Have you found Naruto yet?" The shorter teen asked. Corrin nodded, "Yeah we just saw him-Shit!" Corrin jumped over a net trap that almost got him.

"There using traps now?" Corrin shouted in disbelief.  
 **  
**" **Are you meaning traps like nets and pits, or the 'they're boy that look like girl and you didn't find out until you're already balls deep?"** Alim asked.  
 **  
**"The type that catch you unaware?" Black answered in a confused voice.

" **Again I repeat, Balls deep. "**

"Guys we have a problem!" Corrin shouted the worry evident in his voice as he pointed ahead.  
 **  
**Black looked forward at what had the other teen so worried, and spotted the gaping pit that the group was speeding towards, " **We got bodies on the buildings."** Alim chimed, causing The two other teens to look up and see the chunin that were racing across the buildings on either sides of them.

"Well, all good things must come to end eventually, best we make it epic." Corrin said in a wistful tone, right before intentionally tripping so obvious it looked like it was ripped right out a looney tunes cartoon.

The pink hair teen landed on his face and started sliding across the earth rode, Black jumping on his back a moment later, land surfing the two towards the hole in the earth.

"Ya!" Black shouted as the two teens slide towards the gap, his voice slowly losing its joy at the same rate they lost momentum.

"Fuck!" The white haired teen shouted when Corrin stopped a few feet from the lip of the chasm. Several chunin landed around the two, confused as to just what the two were planning.  
 **  
**"One moment." Corrin grunted as he pulled himself up and dusted off his somehow spotless clothing. "Yoshi, if you would." The white haired teen nodded, understanding the vague request. He lunged forward, and tossed both himself and Corrin into the trap that they had fell short of sliding into. ****

"What do we do with them sir?" An unimportant chunin grunt asked his slightly more important chunin grunt leader.

"We have our orders." The blandly designed man said.  
 **  
**"Hey, can we get some help down here!" Corrin called from the pit, "I don't think Yoshi's arm should be bending that way."  
 **  
**" **I can fix it!"** Alim chimed sadistically, a moment later a cracking sound resonated from the pit, causing all who heard it to cringe.  
 **  
**"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-" ****

 **_**

 **A/N; second chapter… ya…  
** **Feel free to point out any spelling or grammar** **errors, despite** **it being my first language I suck at the finer** **points of English, or you can just leave a comment. I'd love to see that.**

 **Almost twenty views on the first chapter! Woot!**

 **Thanks to Another Gamer, Dickie the Clown, Shoman702, and Stick Stones and S'mores for favoriting this, It means a lot!**

 **I should be updating this on a weekly basis as long as my reserves hold, if I run out then I'll take a break and work further ahead.**

 **Merry Christmas and Happy holidays!**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three; Well I don't know how to name this

 _ **A/N; Guess who owns Naruto, Not me that's for sure. Yadda yadda, something about foul language, Yadda yadda. Also, I get the literal translations of the jutsu from the wiki/ google translate.**_

* * *

"Sir we brought them to you, just as you asked," The Chunin commander said as he and two other generic Chunin tossed the currently bound protagonists onto the floor in front of the elderly Hokage's desk.

"I never told you to-" The elder Sarutobi said as he stood, his eyes narrowing in suspicion as he noticed the rigid stances of his ninja.

" **Fukanzen Tsukuyomi.** "(Imperfect Moon reader) Corrins voice rang, his scarf falling away from his face to reveal his two white eye's, the veins bulging around them, and a third, pulsing blood red eye, nine tomoe spread out amongst the ripples spun slowly as the technique took hold. The teen stood up as the Hokage froze.

"Leave us, forget that this ever happened." Corrin commanded the three Chunin, who turned and walked drunkenly out of the room.

"What have you done to me?" Hiruzen growled out through clenched teeth. Alim popped out of Corrins collar, " **The Tsukuyomi is one of the most powerful genjutsu in existence, only trumped by the Infinite Tsukuyomi, The Technique used on you is somewhere in between them."**

"This still doesn't sit well with me," Black grumbled as his bindings hit the floor, "Why couldn't we just try talking our way into this?"

" **Yes, because we could just waltz right into the village, run around, tell the old man the secret to paperwork, and get to play ninja!"** Alim shouted.

"Well excuse me for trying to have a conscience!" Black shouted back, "Enough!" Corrin shouted silencing his two companions, "We need to hurry up, this Justus giving me a headache."

" **Right, now you just need insert the false memories, we'll need to lay low after that to let them solidify,"** Alim explained as he spread over Corrin to help, " **Hopefully he won't dwell on them too much."**

"What happens if he does?" Black asked.

" **Short answer, were fucked worse than a free whore in a catholic school."** Alim explained. Black mouthed 'oh.' then looked away. "If it helps as all, I really am sorry." Corrin mumbled as Hiruzen felt a presence poke around his mind, ' **So many techniques, so many memories, so many secrets.'** Alim's voice echoed throughout the aged Hokage's mind in a malicious tone, causing his eyes to widen.

" **Modifications complete"** Alim mumbled as he retreated off of Corrins frame. The three teens were silent as the third Hokage slide to the floor.

"Now what?" Black asked as he untied Corrin, who shrugged. "I frankly didn't expect to get this far."

" **The old man will wake up in roughly two minutes, we'll be registered in the system as Jounin and Naruto's new guardians before day-break, until then we need to get to Naruto."** Alim said, Corrin nodded in response. With a flick of his hand Corrin opened a Yomotsu Hirasaka, the black gate forming in the middle of the room.

By the time the time the elderly Hokage rose from the floor, He was the only visible person in the room. By the time the Third came to his senses it was daybreak and he unknowingly had three new ninja in his service, and a blistering headache.

* * *

"So do we just walk in, or what?" Black asked as he and Corrin stood in front of an apartment door, the two teens looking between each other, both expecting the other to be the one to knock on the door, "Well we are officially his guardians now right?" Corrin replied with a shrug.

"Yeah but he won't recognize us." Black supplied, Corrin grunting as he took the fact into consideration, "Well we can't just brainwash him now can we?" Corrin mumbled to himself, rejecting the idea as soon as it left his lips.

"Yeah we can't just do that to a kid," Black said as he scratched the back of his head, "It's rather effed up."

" **Hey I'm done brainwashing the kid."** Alim said pooling from beneath the apartment door. The two teens stood gaping at the formless shadow " **What?"** He asked in confusion.

"Why?" Black almost shouted, "Did you feel the need to mess with a kids mind?" Corrin nodded, Black voicing his opinions well enough.

" **All I did was make him more likely to accept us."** Alim explained as if it was a completely reasonable course of action. "You really don't know how to socially interact do you?" Black asked with a stony face.

" **Fuck off."**

"As much progress this conversation is making, where the hell we sleeping tonight," Corrin asked as he picked up his shadowy brother, "I mean the kids sleeping right?" Alim nodded as best he could.

"I think these apartments are empty." Black supplied. Corrin tilted his head in thought and made a half rat hand sign, a moment later he groaned and clutched his head in pain. "Fuck three-sixty vision is painful!" He softly groaned, "Every apartment on this floor is empty."

"Epic." Black said as he turned and kicked in the closest door not owned by a blond Jinchuriki, "Black Yoshi in the house!"

" **And you guys say I have problems."** Alim grumbled, " **Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna spread myself throughout town to spy and/or feed off the chakra of the village."**

"Remember to use a condom." Corrin shouted.

* * *

' _One week later'_

Naruto's apartment was a mess, furniture flipped over and various things of questionable origin staining the walls. One of the several black colored stains moved, an eye opening.

" **Is the coast clear?"** Alim asked as he looked around the wrecked room, "I believe so." Black hesitantly said crawling out from underneath a flipped couch, his luxurious hair was messy and tangled.

"What's wrong with you guys?" Corrin asked walking into the room, ignoring the trashed living space.

" **Fabio here has a fan club."** Alim quipped, much to the ire of the white haired teen.

"...What?" Corrin finally asked after a moment.

"I apparently have a fan club." Black grumbled as he freed himself from the couch and started fixing his hair, "Don't know how, or why for that matter but I have one now."

Corrin opened his mouth to ask a question, but Alim preemptively answered it, " **Yes they're all women,"** Corrin closed his mouth, then opened it to ask a different question, " **And I'm pretty sure they all know he's a guy,"** Alim again answered before his brother could ask. Black shivered for a moment as he recalled the events of the day, "Oh they know…" He said ominously as he slowly walked towards the bathroom, "they definitely know…'

"Heywhere'sNarutoyouguys?" Corrin rushed out before Alim could interrupt him for a third time, effectively breaking the rule of three.

"I thought he was with you." Black said from the bathroom, the sound of rushing water resonating from within, "I really hope this isn't what I think it is." He grumbled.

" **I got a piece on him,"** Alim said gathering himself up from around the room, " **He's at the Ramen stand."**

"That place has a name you know." Corrin said as he leaned against a wall, ignoring the squishing noise that it made.

" **I know, I just hate trying to pronounce it."** Alim grumbled, " **It's just like how you hate to refer to the village by its proper name."**

"No I don't, where in the hidden leaf village." Corrin said defiantly. " **Literally everyone else calls it Konohagakure, or Konoha."** Alim firmly said.

"You're able to pronounce that mouthful, but not Ichiraku?" Corrin deadpanned, his eye visibly twitching under his scarf.

" **What, No. It's the other part of it that I have a hard time saying."** Alim grumbled.

Black chose that moment to walk out of the bathroom, his hair put up in a bubblegum pink towel, "Are you saying that you can't say ramen?" He asked in disbelief.

When Alim nodded, the two teens with bodies shared an unseen glance and started chuckling to each other.

The two quickly quelled their giggling fits when they noticed the murderous glare coming from Alim. "So what we going to do for money?" Black asked quickly trying to change the subject, "Were going to need some if we plan on taking care of Naruto."

"Well if push comes to shove, you can always be a model." Corrin proposed.

" **Money's not going to be much of a problem."** Alim said earning the two's attention, "I swear if you robbed a bank-" Corrin started but was cut off by his brother.

" **Just so you know, I did not break the law in any way."** Alim said in an attempted casual voice.

"I don't like how that was worded." Black said, worry evident in his tone.

" **You could consider it a crime against humanity though."** Alim continued explaining.

"Did you bring that game into this world?" Corrin almost shouted, weather in joy or anger was unknown to all but the wisest of sages, and maybe his mother.

" **No- that's a good idea though,"** Alim said in a thoughtful voice, " **Instead I just introduced this world to "Fifty Shades of Grey," under the pen name Black Yoshi."** Alim finished explaining. " **It's only second to the Icha Icha series in adult literature sales, and the dominant series in the Female sales bracket. That might explain why you have such a large fan club Black."**

"I'm gonna kill him." The teen said, "Then I'll bring him back to life, and kill him again!" Black was shouting now.

"Did you do that thing where authors put their picture in the back of their books?" Corrin asked. Alim responded by handing the blindfolded teen a copy of the book. The pinkette flipped to the back of the book, and found a picture of Black in a charming pose. "You have my blessing to kill him." Corrin said turning to look at the steaming teen, his hair now miraculously dry if not a little fuzzy.

"There will be blood!" Black shouted as he pointed at the grinning shadow, "And it will be yours!" He dove at the bodiless teen, who seemed to collapse on himself and disappear from view.

Black screeched in a mad animalistic rage as he dove out the thankfully opened window, "He's nearby, I can sense it!" He shouted as he sprinted down the road.

Corrin stuck his head out the window and watched his friend disappear into the town, "He does know that you're basically everywhere, right?" Corrin asked as Alim popped out of his collar.

" **Yep, and I'm pinging in several locations, he'll never find any of them though."** Alim explained, a shit eating grin on his face. " **Hopefully he'll pick Naruto up on his way back."**

"So, you memorized Fifty Shades?" Corrin said, causing Alim to freeze.

" **You don't just forget shit like that man."** Alim said in a distant echoing voice, his eyes unfocusing.

"Bro," Corrin waved a hand in front of the shadow's face, "Bro!"

* * *

-Omake; Naruto's day at the ramen stand-

An eight year old Naruto happily sat in his preferred spot at Ichiraku's ramen, several bowls stacked up on either side of him, and a very happy chief counting a large wad of money as his eyes seemed to become Ryo symbols that twinkled in the light. Ayame sat in the back, trying to discreetly read a book with a grey colored tie on the cover, she seemed oblivious to the trail of drool coming from the corner of her mouth and her neon blush.

"Hey Alim, where'd you get all this money anyways?" Naruto asked as he took a break from inhaling his brothy noodles.

" **You needn't worry about that, just enjoy your meal."** The shadow said from Naruto's shoulder, freezing up a moment later, " **If anyone asks for me in the next twenty seconds, I'm on the other side of town."** He said as he disappeared into Naruto's thick spiky golden head of hair.

"I know he's here I can smell him, Hey Naruto, Where is he hiding!" Black shouted barging into the small ramen stand, Causing Ayame to eep and hid the cover of her book.

"You looking for Alim?" Naruto asked, "Because he said he's gonna be on the other side of town."

"Thanks kid." Black said as he ruffled the blonde's hair. Ayame stared at the teen with narrowed eyes as if thinking intently about something, a moment later her eyes shot open as she turned to the back of the book she held in her hands.

Black noticed this a moment before the girl opened her mouth. "Hey your-" Black was already gone by the time the words left her mouth, shouting about how he'd come back to pick Naruto up in half an hour.

" **Thanks kid."** Alim said dropping down from the boy's hair, "No problem." The boy said as he resumed slurping his noodles.

* * *

 **A/N: So guess who didn't proofread their story before posting it. That's right voices in my head, it was me. Not much has changed, but now there's an author's note. Sweet baby Joseph this story reached Sixty views!**

 **I love it when people review, So if you would be so kind as to do so I would be grateful.**

 **Have a good whatever now!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter four; I have an outline for this story and I still don't know what I want to do with it.**

 **A/N: I don't know if I have to put this here but better safe than sorry, I don't own Naruto. If you honestly think that I do, you're the textbook definition of an idiot. Also I've been informed that my sense of humor can be pretty fucked up, and final warning; Language.**

"Well this was a total failure." Corrin said as he looked around the trashed room, birthday ornaments strewn about the room. Black was currently on the ground wrestling Tsume Inuzuka, Kiba's very aggressive and totally not a lesbian stereotype mother, a very drunk Anko, and very confused Kurenai Yuhi.

Outside Naruto and his soon to be classmates were playing the ninja version of tag, supervised by the Alim, which would normally not be allowed but the parents of the children were also there as well.

Any extra dimensional beings who might be viewing this very poorly thought out scenario might be thinking, "Why on earth would Black be wrestling three women in at a kids birthday party," or they might be thinking "That lucky dog, I wish that I was being wrestled by three attractive women; one of whom is drunk," or they might even think "Why am I still reading this crap, time to call the author a faggot in the review section and tell him to go kill themselves," Which for those who actually think that; You're a jack-ass.

The answer to all but the last of those questions just so happens to be answered in the next paragraph.

"You filthy pervert!" The Inuzuka matriarch shouted as she held Black in a headlock, "How dare you write such filth!"

"I didn't- ack!" Black wheezed out, getting cut off mid-sentence, "I found your filthy book in my daughter's room!" Little known fact among the populace of the hidden leaf village, The Inuzuka were very strict when it came the practice of chastity outside of marriage.

"I should probably help him." Corrin mused to himself, before turning to walk outside to talk with the various clan heads that were present. Black watched as his friend left him alone, "So what we wrestling about again?" Anko slurred out drunkenly, her face a deep red.

"Who even invited you?" The white haired teen cried out.

* * *

"So how the kiddies doing?" Corrin asked as he picked Alim up off a table and shoved him in his sleeve.

" **Pretty good, luckily for us the boy's situation wasn't nearly as bad as most fans thought."** Alim grumbled as the two watched Naruto enjoy playing with the other kids. It seemed that most old enough to remember held their hatred for the fox on a tight leash, keeping it from bleeding into their children. 'Speaking of angry adults,' Corrin thought as he looked around at the faces of the adults present.

" **You know I had too."** Alim said softly in a defiant tone, causing Corrin to sigh, "And what if it wears off?" He asked simply, the pinkette could feel Alim's presence in the heads of most all adults present.

" **By then things should be fairly in motion."** By this point a very ruffled Black walked out of the apartment building, looking very confused as he stared at a slip of paper.

"What's that?" Corrin asked pointing to the paper. The albino haired teen shoved the paper quickly in a pocket, "No idea- when we cutting the cake?" The teen quickly changed the subject.

"In a couple of minutes." Corrin said dismissively, before his face twisted into a look of confusion, "Hey Alim, what rank are we?" The pink haired teen asked.

" **We've been here for a month and you just now thought to ask that?"** Alim asked incredulously.

"To be fair, we have been watching a very hyper kid." Black chimed, "Yeah, we have to set a good example." Corrin said trying to sound mature, right around then the sound of an alarm clock going off filled the area.

Corrin looked surprised for a moment, then reached into his sleeve pulling out an old fashioned wind up alarm clock, the bells resonating obnoxiously.

"Hey Naruto!" The pinkette shouted, "Look!" He pointed to the Hokage monument.

The young blonde, and everyone present, turned to stare at the heads of the past and present Hokage's and gawked at what they saw.

The first, second, and third Hokage's cheeks bore whisker marks reminiscent of those Naruto bore, while the fourth Hokage's headband bared the message 'Happy B-Day Naruto!' In bright orange paint.

"Happy birthday kid." Corrin said walking up to the blonde, "Who wants cake?" The pinkette bellowed, all the children jumping for joy at the prospect of food.

"On wards tiny people!" The pinkette joyfully cried as he pointed the ravenous children back into the strangely clean room, Anko passed out on the couch with Kurenai watching over her friend with disappointment.

"You never answered Corrins question." Black said as he and Alim slowly followed the crowd. Alim grinned, " **The same can be said for you."** Black narrowed his eyes, though it was hard to tell through the goggles.

" **I had the old man put us in as Jounin "** The shadow chuckled, Black grunted in response.

"Us?" Black asked with a raised brow. " **I don't plan on being a blob forever."** He growled, not offering any details beyond that. Black chose not to pry.

" **Seriously what was that on that piece of paper?"** Black shivered and hugged himself, "You don't want to know."

" **Fair enough."**

* * *

"So this is the academy," Corrin said as he, Black, and Alim walked an excited Naruto to the doors of the school, the initiation ceremony having just been finished.

" **Remember what we said gaki."** Alim said from the blonde's shoulder.

"Act like an idiot and barely pass." Naruto said nodding as he recalled what he said.

"Yep, now have a good day little man." Corrin ruffled the blonde's messy hair, earning a cry of indignation in return.

"I still don't like this." Black grumbled as the three walked away from the school building.

" **Again, we need to keep events as close as possible, besides he knows that if he needs any help he can talk to the tag I put on him."** Alim explained frustrated, " **Now that we have some free time though, you two need to develop some skill."**

"What'cha mean by that?" Corrin asked offended, "We could probably kick anyone's ass if we wanted to."

" **Kick, No. Overwhelm, probably."** Alim explained, " **We have the power of first three chakra user's, people considered gods in their own rights, it's like comparing a rock to a mountain."**

Corrin smirked, "But if you were to fight any Jounin, let alone a Kage, you'd definitely come out more than a little banged up." The pinkett's smirk fell.

"So how should we go about this?" Black asked, "I mean it's not like we can just ask any Jounin to train us."

" **Give me some time and I can copy fighting styles from the Hyuuga and Uchiha, your eyes should be able to work well with them. Until then you guys can take some D-ranks."** Alim finished, Corrin and Black nodded.

"Doesn't sound too hard." Corrin said dismissively. "We'll see." Alim said, a malevolent grin on his face.

* * *

Naruto looked around the courtyard for his guardians, recalling how they told the blonde that they would be there to walk him home. His eyes lit up as he saw his two guardians leaning exhaustively against the tree with a swing on it.

"How was your day kid?" Black asked as Naruto excitedly ran up to them, the blonde frowned for a moment, "I didn't get most of the stuff the teacher talked about, but Alim said he'd explain it to me when I got home."

Corrin nodded in sympathy, "I didn't like school that much, and you should learn the stuff though." Naruto nodded his head sadly, "Now, let's go get some ramen." Corrin shouted enthusiastically.

"Yeah!" Naruto shouted with just the same amount of enthusiasm, the bold blonde bolting from the courtyard.

Black groaned as he moved to rush after the boy, Corrin stumbling along drunkenly.

* * *

 _Sometime later._

A full moon hung in the sky, offering its gentle light to the sleeping people of the hidden leaf village. The normal hustle and bustle of the day had long since concluded and most civilians were at their homes, resting for their next day's work.

But, a keen eye would see just how awake the village truly was, the swift movements of ninja, the shadow warriors sticking out of sight and treading softly as they stood watch over their home. Yet still there where those who were on missions that could only be accomplished in the late hours of the night.

Such is the case for the poor bastard who just slipped through the window of three very irresponsible teenagers.

The masked man moved silently, his body molding to the shadows causing him to seemingly disappear. He swiftly and silently glided over to a snoring pinkette. He stared at the teen for a moment, displaying no emotion as he lifted a kunia, and plunged it into the slumbering man's chest, his snore stopping quickly. The masked Nin moved away from the body, searching for his next target.

Instead his target found him, attempting to deliver a right hook to the Nins head. The masked man grasped the fist, the power behind the attack pushing him into a nearby wall. Black stared intently at the masked man, piercing white orbs glowing from behind his bared goggles.

"The fuck is Root doing here?" He asked as he stared at the blank mask, a split second later he reflexively caught the kunia the man threw at his face. The Nin burst into movement, pulling two kunia into his hands and rushing the white haired teen who attempted to dodge the man's slashes. The cuts in his flesh and clothes showed that Black was only partially succeeding in his endeavor to survive.

Black attempted to strike his opponent, but either missed, was deflected, or his attack was dodged; all of which resulted in another wound etched into his flesh. "What-" A gash was carved into blacks cheek, "are you-" The teen jumped back to avoid being gutted, "here for?" He shouted.

"Lord Danzo has decreed your deaths, you are a threat to the village." The masked man droned in a monotone voice.

"Well you fucked up big time." Black stated matter of factually, the masked Nins eyes widened as a voice bellowed from behind him.

" _ **Bansho Ten'in."**_ **(Almighty pull.)** The Root ninja lurched backwards, spinning in mid-air so that Corrin was able to grasp him by his throat and look him in the eye. Corrin choke slammed the Nin into the floor as he placed a blackened hand on the Nins head, pulling it away dragging a blue humanoid cloud out of the petrified Nin.

"What the hell man!" Black shouted at his friend, looking closely at the pinkette and only then realizing that he was still asleep.

" **He tried to kill Corrin, and was about to kill you."** Alim said popping out of Corrins collar, " **I wasn't just going to let him get away with that."**

Black opened his mouth to protest but decided against it, "Just get rid of the body." He said dismissively, turning back to the couch he had been sleeping on just minutes before. " **You should go check on Naruto, we might have woken him up."** Alim said as he moved towards the fallen Nins body.

Black nodded in agreement and turned towards the door, trying to avoid watching Alim envelope the Root Nins body. When the albino teen returned the body was gone and Corrin was back in bed, Leaving Black to sort through his thoughts and emotions in the cool silent night.

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry This is late, I've had to deal with school. But hey there's a fight seen in this. Might go dark on updating soon, pile up some chapters that way I can post consistently for a while.**

 **Have a good what ever-now.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five; Could I actually be moving along in this story, maybe yes, maybe no, maybe it's Maybelline.

 **A/N: Brat belongs to Kishi- I don't own nothing of nobody's ya' here!**

 _In another location sometime later_

The old man sat in silence, seemingly asleep. His aged face mostly covered in bandages and his right side covered to hide his missing limb.

"Lord Danzo," An almost robotic voice droned from behind the man, who slowly opened his eye and turned towards his subordinate with measured movements. The kneeling Nin continued speaking on some unseen signal.

"The mission failed, the two still live." The old man showed no emotion as he stood and moved past the masked ninja. The elder walked out of the room, closing the door to it with a soft thud, followed by the collapse of the Root Nin, his head rolling across the floor.

" **What a nice guy."** Alim said snarkelly as he emerged from the decapitated Root Nins jacked. " **Where to begin, where to begin."**

* * *

"So Alim killed a man?" Corrin asked groggily, glaring at the sky as the sun started to rise to burn the retinas of any exhausted fool willing to stare at it.

"Yep, used the Human path and just ripped the dude's soul out." Black explained just as tired as his friend.

" **In my defense, he attacked us and I needed the information."** Alim defended himself, " **Also, Happy Kwanzaa."** The disembodied blob placed several scrolls on the table the two sat at.

Black lifted up a scroll, looked at the seal on it for half a second, and then placed it back down while he massaged his brow. "Please tell me these are copies and you're just really OCD about details." The albino teen pleaded.

" **In hindsight I should've taken the copies instead of the originals."** Alim said, " **This is a little embarrassing, honestly."**

"Well it's in the past now." Corrin shrugged as he plucked a random scroll from the pile before him, "Ooh, so that's what the Uchiha's fighting styles called!" The teen said enthusiastically.

" **That's upside down."** Alim said from Corrin's shoulder, "Shut up, I don't like reading!" Was the pinkette's defense.

"I swear if we get sent to prison over this, I'm killing you." Black said as he grabbed a scroll with the Hyuuga clan's symbol on it and opened it.

" **Don't worry, if they're going to bust us for anything it'll be several charges of espionage, treason, falsification of legal documents, breaking and entering and then theft."** Alim cheerfully explained. "Exactly!" Both Corrin and Black shouted at the same time, one with a smile on his face and the other with a scowl.

* * *

"Hit me!" Corrin shouted at Naruto, grabbing the blondes arm and tossing him a few feet away. "Come on, I'm blind! Hit me!" Naruto quickly got up and charged the blindfolded man again.

"Keep your wrists, straight, you don't want to sprain them!" Black shouted from the side of the field the groups was training in. The blonde let loose an admittedly adorable bellow as he charged the Pink haired man again. Earning the same result as before.

"Come on boy, you need to be unpredictable, change things up, don't fall into a pat-AGH." Corrin had been trying to encourage the downed blonde, but received a swift kick to the nuts for his troubles. "Good job." He said in a high pitched squeal, grasping his damaged family jewels, "Black, your turn." The pinkette waddled towards the albino.

"Woo, Good job Naruto!" Black said as he approached the boy, "But just so you know, you do that to me and I'll hang you from Hokage tower by your britches." The white haired man threatened with a smile.

The blonde Shakely nodded, "Good," Black said jumping a few feet back, "Now hitting is a very important part of a fight, but another important part is-Dodge!" The albino threw several blunted kunia at the boy, who barely rolled to the side.

"Dodge!" Naruto sprang to his feet to avoid another hail of the dulled metal.

"What the hell!" Naruto shouted as he dodged another burst of blades, "Language, Dodge!" Black shouted in response.

Naruto lunged out of the way of another attack, picking up a few kunia embedded in the ground and launching them at the goggled man.

"Now that's more like it!" Black shouted as he moved out of the way of the poorly thrown repurposed farming tools.

"How is this going to help him?" Corrin asked Alim as he leaned against a tree watching the two fight.

" **In the original timeline the kid was able to get stupidly strong with just a little bit of guidance."** Alim said crawling out of Corrins collar, " **While we're not training him in any specific style right now, where helping him in his basic skills; punching, kicking, dodging, and aiming."** An explosion interrupted the shadows train of thought.

"Hey, you guys ok?" Corrin shouted, trying to look through the smoke that now enveloped the training ground.

"We good." Black shouted missing the right half of his shirt and holding a squirming Naruto in his left hand, "The brat got his hands on a paper bomb, Sneaky little bastard." The goggled man looked at Naruto, his somehow perfectly clean and undamaged hair billowing in the breeze, "I'm not even upset, that was impressive."

"Well don't stop now, we need to show him how to properly use those things so he doesn't accidentally hurt someone."

" **Yes, teach the prankster how to blow shit up!"** Alim shouted, Black looked at Corrin, who shrugged then held his hand up horizontally, mouthing 'low level stuff.'

"Alright, back to dodging." Black said putting Naruto down so he could get some distance.

"You were saying something about basic skills?" Corrin said turning back to his brother, " **As I was saying, then we give the kid an inch and he'll take a mile, just imagine what this will do for him."**

Corrin turned his up to the tree branches, "You know, it's rude not to say hello, right." He said, a few moments later a weasel masked ninja appeared standing just out of Corrins reach.

"How did you notice me?" It was more of a demand than a question. "You're a living thing, living things have chakra, and I can sense chakra." Corrin half lied, he was able to sense chakra, but only if you consider your eye's seeing things as them sensing them.

The Anbu seemed to buy it, "I was sent to check on the explosion." He said in an even tone.

'Bullshit,' Corrin thought, He'd been watching the guy ever since he showed up. The guy was one of the one's watching Naruto for the Hokage.

"Makes sense," Corrin said, "Well it was an unexpected turn of events, and the brat got ahold of a paper bomb." Corrin continued ignoring the explosions in the background.

"And the ones being used now?" The weasel masked man asked.

"Where showing him how they work." Corrin said, there was a larger explosion and suddenly Black soared through the air crashing into the woods that surrounded them.

Corrin turned his head in the direction that his friend went, "He'll be fine." Corrin said dismissively, "Good job Naruto!" The banged up blonde gave a thumbs up and stumbled over to the tree the pinkette sat against, plopping in front of it into a ball and falling to sleep.

"He'll also be fine." Corrin said as he dusted some soot of the blonde's whiskered cheek, "Mind helping me get these two home?" Corrin asked as he heaved himself to his feet, revealing the fact that the pinkette was at least a head taller than the masked Nin.

"Sure." The weasel masked Nin nodded. "Good, you get Fabio over there and I'll get this brat." Corrin said as he reached down and threw the slumbering blonde over his shoulder.

The masked Nin seemed too confused for a moment, but he shook it off, picking the white haired man up and carrying him over his shoulders.

* * *

"Thanks for the help man." Corrin said as he walked out of Naruto's apartment, the Anbu walking out of the one Corrin shared with Black and Alim.

"Your welcome." The Nin said before flickering out of sight.

"Well that was rude," Corrin mumbled to himself, "That who I think it was?" He seemingly asked the air around him,

" **Yes, it was."** Alim echoed from Corrins sleeve.

"You tagged him?" Corrin asked as he entered his apartment, eyes landing on a sprawled out Black.

" **Who haven't I tagged?"** The bodiless teen asked sarcastically, " **I should probably add invasion of privacy to the list of things that could land us in jail."**

"How close do you think we are to the massacre?" Corrin asked as he shoved Blacks lower half into the floor so he could sit on the couch.

" **Hell if I know, possibly not for another year."** Alim said, " **It was never stated when exactly, but I think it was earlier in the academy."**

"What should we do about it?" Corrin questioned.

" **Again, Hell if I know."** Alim growled, not wanting to leave the variable unchecked, " **We'll have to burn that bridge when we cross it."**

"Don't have to sound so cheerful about it," Corrin grumbled, "I'm going to bed, enjoy doing whatever the heck you do during the night."

" **Good night."** Alim slid out of his brother's sleeve, moving over to a corner of the room stacked high with books. The blob pulled out several books, ranging from human anatomy to chakra theory.

"Your planning something aren't you?" Corrin asked not even turning to face his brother.

" **Always."** The blob mumbled.

"Don't get caught." Corrin shouted as he fell face first into his bed, his snores starting halfway down.

* * *

-Omake; Why Alim's not allowed to be near animals-

"So what's the mission again?" Corrin asked as he dangled from a tree branch using his legs to keep himself up.

" **Where catching the cat of the Daimyo wife. Bastard escapes on a weekly basis like clockwork,"** Alim mumbled, " **She's also a pain in the ass to catch."**

"Sounds fun, got a plan?" Corrin asked, regretting the decision moments later when his brother started a dark chuckle that caused a nearby baby to weep.

(I refuse to use my line breaks in an Omake, so here's my trusty prototype transition line, works just as well.)

"That was rather tame." Corrin said in genuine surprise as he held up the cage that Tora was now trapped in, the bowed cat hissing furiously.

" **Now to make sure the bitch doesn't escape again."** Alim said darkly, his abyssal mass slipping into the cage.

Tora snarled loudly at the intruding form, but in the moments following the movement and noise that resonated from the cage caused Corrin to drop it; where it rolled around for several more minutes.

" **She won't be escaping anytime soon."** Alim declared proudly as he rolled out of the beast's cage.

"The hell d'you do?" Corrin asked as Alim slithered back into his sleeve.

" **Basically locked the bitch in a biological chastity belt, she'll still be able to breed; but it'll hurt like hell."** Alim said darkly, a malicious smile on his face.

"Dude that's fucked up." Corrin deadpanned.

Alim shrugged, which must have been difficult since he lacked shoulders. Corrin just shook his head and grabbed the cage. "Animal cruelty, another thing to add to your growing list of felonies."

" **What's really bad is the fact that I feel worse about this not bothering me, than this bothers me."** Alim said honestly concerned.

"You really are a psychopath." Corrin said not at all worried about the implications of his statement.

"...How much we getting paid for this again?" Corrin asked after a moment.

" **Possible a lot more for chaining the cat's sex drive."** Alim grunted.

"Sweet." The teen drawled, raising his expectations of their reward well beyond any sane hope.

* * *

 **A/N: So guess who's actually on time this week! At the moment this is my favorite chapter I've written so far. Updates for this might stagnate for a little while. The next chapters being difficult and life is a relevant thing sadly.**

 **This story's on it's way to hitting a hundred views! Woot!**

 **Remember if you liked this then please leave a review, follow it, or even favorite it if you're so inclined.**

 **Have a good whatever to ya now!**


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